It's happened, Politics has entered the Hall of Plenty. And I don't mean, who gets priority in the Stock Room, politics either. Actually, if you carry a lot of stock then you are pretty much guaranteed a good space in the hell that is the basement. So applying beauty counter logic to Downing Street, John Prescott would be Prime Minister for ever.
No, the paralysis in the skies was just too short a subject for Friday morning and I don't know who said it, but,
'David Cameron was a bit dehydrated, his fake tan looked patchy.'
The gloves were off!
Never mind the manifesto's, in the Hall of Plenty this election will be decided by skin tone, hydration, matification. Nice hands, good nail grooming, too much - to little make up. What lip colour the wives choose and hair.
You know, the strange thing is, we decided Nick Clegg had good skin and just look at the poles.
Check out Barack Obama if you don't believe. Great skin, perfectly hydrated but not too shiny. Great hands, well moisturised. Michelle, obviously immaculate.
The speculation over whether David Cameron will get more Um-pa Lumpa as they go on, is rife. And it is a fine tipping point, should Nick Clegg's wife disappoint it could all go horribly wrong. Just like a pink lipstick matched with a coral blusher. No!
Our resident Peter Snow, very in touch with her Pankhurst side thinks that as long as Dr. Who still has a ginger companion, then Gordon actually has a chance.
So be warned boys, this season it's all about B.B.C. Blend, Balance and Co-ordinate.
Saturday, 17 April 2010
Tuesday, 13 April 2010
Our Top Ten!
It's been a bit of tumble-weed week, with the sun shinning and the Easter holidays stretching on endlessly. Can you believe it's only another two terms till Summer slump time?
Between you and me, that is the time we play silly buggers. You know, flick rubber bands across the shop floor at each other with pinpoint accuracy. Stuff citrus fruits down our bra's to see exactly what a boob job would look like and have 'How many Skittles can you get in your mouth' Competitions. Actually that one ended quite badly when the phone rang and Miss White - face of an angel very large mouth - automatically answered the phone with three quarters of a packet in her mouth and breathed in.
Anyway, in between dusting the shelves. Cleaning the fragrance bottles, that are still being rammed up peoples noses and numerically ordering the lipsticks, we compiled our top ten customer comments.
10) 'These lipsticks, what do they do?
9) Of the Sold Out stickers we put on items - 'This eye shadow, Sold Out do you have any?'
8) ' Hi, I'm going away next week and I wondered, as I have a travel restriction on weight do you have any of those sample's things I could take with me?'- Didn't you say that last week?- 'Err no.'
7) 'Do you sell make up here?'
6) 'Do you know where I could find - the lifts-men-the stairs-the doors-anywhere that sells make up?
5) 'Do you sell eyelids?'
4) 'Do all those perfumes smell different?'
3)Does your hand cream come in a smaller size than that?' -No madam- ' No it's too big, it's for my friends handbag, she is dead.'
2) 'Where is your make up?' - Just there.- 'No that's no good!'- Why ? - 'I can't see it.' - But madam the display is six foot long- 'But I can't see it!' (And she was not blind.)
1) On the phone - 'Great your bronze's have arrived , now what colour do you recommend for me?' - ON THE PHONE!
All true and honest comments made to us by the Great British Public.
Between you and me, that is the time we play silly buggers. You know, flick rubber bands across the shop floor at each other with pinpoint accuracy. Stuff citrus fruits down our bra's to see exactly what a boob job would look like and have 'How many Skittles can you get in your mouth' Competitions. Actually that one ended quite badly when the phone rang and Miss White - face of an angel very large mouth - automatically answered the phone with three quarters of a packet in her mouth and breathed in.
Anyway, in between dusting the shelves. Cleaning the fragrance bottles, that are still being rammed up peoples noses and numerically ordering the lipsticks, we compiled our top ten customer comments.
10) 'These lipsticks, what do they do?
9) Of the Sold Out stickers we put on items - 'This eye shadow, Sold Out do you have any?'
8) ' Hi, I'm going away next week and I wondered, as I have a travel restriction on weight do you have any of those sample's things I could take with me?'- Didn't you say that last week?- 'Err no.'
7) 'Do you sell make up here?'
6) 'Do you know where I could find - the lifts-men-the stairs-the doors-anywhere that sells make up?
5) 'Do you sell eyelids?'
4) 'Do all those perfumes smell different?'
3)Does your hand cream come in a smaller size than that?' -No madam- ' No it's too big, it's for my friends handbag, she is dead.'
2) 'Where is your make up?' - Just there.- 'No that's no good!'- Why ? - 'I can't see it.' - But madam the display is six foot long- 'But I can't see it!' (And she was not blind.)
1) On the phone - 'Great your bronze's have arrived , now what colour do you recommend for me?' - ON THE PHONE!
All true and honest comments made to us by the Great British Public.
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