No we haven't created a dodge-ball team to take on other stores. Let's face it, we could probably raise a handbag throwing team or compete vigorously in an eyebrow plucking demonstration. In fact if there was a 'scathing remarks' tag team event, you could count us in! Slipper-Mouth's chihuahua once won a 'Sassiest Walk' at a dog show, so we do have some competitive spirit on the shop floor.
Sadly that is not what I have to declare. No, because I am giving someone in Cosmetics, or other retail departments, the chance to relate their worst customer experience to the world.
Here is how it works, name me all of the famous retailers on this page in the comments box below and a brief description of your experience, along with your e-mail address and you will get to relate your story on this blog next month.
Molly doesn't count I'm afraid , so we can leave her out. Scroll down the page and you will find some obvious and some obscure retailers from the last 40 years on T.V and film. Fill in the comment form (these will be filtered and secure and not published) and get your chance to tell the world.
Good Luck
Mole X
!!!! Somebody has already sent me a comment to point out that one of these images is not from film or t.v. Well smart arse there has been a documentary about them in the last two years that appeared on T.V for a very significant anniversary, so NO I am not making it too hard!!!!!!!
Wednesday 16 February 2011
Monday 14 February 2011
Happy Valentines X
Kerrching!
It's Valentines Day, second only in the retail calendar to Christmas. Good way to sort out all the near divorces Christmas brought. For all you lovers in retail out there, here is a link piece of retail gold captured on film.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3U4I1quv1rY
The Hall of Plenty is awash with pink, roses, cupcakes, love hearts. All with the exception of our little island. No, we are not allowed to display any frippery. It is with much envy that we are watching Dippy Peacock try to revive some very pretty but tired flowers he has been instructed to describe as 'antiqued'. Shop speak for nearly dying. However we have managed to snaffle a few passing cupcakes. The sugar rush should keep us on our toes whilst 'She who Must be Obeyed' gets to the bottom of a new policy concerning maintenance. Apparently, we are no longer allowed to call them directly, any contact must be made through a floor manager.
So to get our lights that should turn on automatically, turned on; somebody rewired them not to work with everyone else's, we must wait to find a floor manager and get them to call maintenance.
Ahhh retail mangement. Who loves ya baby!
It's Valentines Day, second only in the retail calendar to Christmas. Good way to sort out all the near divorces Christmas brought. For all you lovers in retail out there, here is a link piece of retail gold captured on film.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3U4I1quv1rY
The Hall of Plenty is awash with pink, roses, cupcakes, love hearts. All with the exception of our little island. No, we are not allowed to display any frippery. It is with much envy that we are watching Dippy Peacock try to revive some very pretty but tired flowers he has been instructed to describe as 'antiqued'. Shop speak for nearly dying. However we have managed to snaffle a few passing cupcakes. The sugar rush should keep us on our toes whilst 'She who Must be Obeyed' gets to the bottom of a new policy concerning maintenance. Apparently, we are no longer allowed to call them directly, any contact must be made through a floor manager.
So to get our lights that should turn on automatically, turned on; somebody rewired them not to work with everyone else's, we must wait to find a floor manager and get them to call maintenance.
Ahhh retail mangement. Who loves ya baby!
Retail therapy?
There only a few jobs where you get undermined and abused on a daily basis. Ours is one of them.
Sunday was a great example of that.
Enter probably the rudest woman on the face of the planet;
'Where is this lipstick?'
(Right between my eyes actually madam.) 'If I could just see which number it is....Ahh I am sorry, but we do not make that lipstick anymore...'
Tut. 'Which one is the nearest?'
'If I could just see the colour then I will try to match it up.'
'So you don't know what colour this is?'
'Well, it has been a while.....'
'No it hasn't.'
'I'm sorry?'
'I only bought this recently.'
'Err okay well, I am not familiar with that particular colour...'
'Here look.' (Madam waves the indistinct colour from 2009 summer collection at my face again.)
'If you could just put some on the back of my hand, I will get a brush...'
'No.'
'Err,'
'I'm not wasting it on your hand.'
'Errr, right well we will just have to do our best with the colour then..... how about this?'
'No.'
'This one?'
'No. None of them are like my colour.'
'Well it is from a different collection....they are very sheer....'
'For goodness sake why do they do that?'
'?'
'Stop making an entire type of lipstick, that's just stupid.'
(Aha, I have an answer for this.) ' It is to keep in line with trends in fashion, the designers are working about five years ahead so....'
'That was a rhetorical question, I don't want to hear your answer , you can go.'
If I had recorded that and made a documentary how different would peoples attitude to us be? Apparently since 'The Secret Shopper' aired earlier this month, complaints to our Hall of Plenty have risen by 70%.
Already we have received a cyber-complaint from a woman who couldn't understand her receipt was out of date and, as tax had gone up, she would have to pay the difference between any items she swapped. Twist and turn the debate as she might, she could not get past having to stump up the extra money which was grudgingly slapped down on the counter by her daughter - in - law. None of which was bad service,
because we agreed to change her item even though her receipt was out of date, we just had to charge her the difference. Why ? Because that is the policy in the Hall of Plenty. So she went and fired off an e-mail in response. I would love to scan it in and show you, but, you know anonymous and all that. The gist of it was , she had a hideous experience, was shocked and distressed and was only saved from the situation by her daughter- in - law.
No, we didn't try to murder her or hold her hostage but she was 'shocked and distressed'. It would take more than being charged two quid for a lipstick I hadn't bought in the first place to shock me, but there you go.
Now pin back your ears everybody!
It is not bad service that you are receiving if you don't get your own way, there are some things that are just fact. We cannot just give you discount because you think you deserve it; we would get fired for stealing. We cannot just change something that you don't like without a receipt; we would get disciplined for breaking store policy. We CANNOT just swap things for different colours, smells or textures just because they are the same brand without proof of purchase. WHY? Because, everything that is bought or sold has a unique code that belongs to the store that owns the stock, so WE WOULD GET IN TROUBLE with our store.
Crazy as it may seem stores have these security policies to stop the whole sale swapping, nicking or frauding of luxury items, so that genuine brand loyal customers can receive an item worthy of their money.
Customers really need to understand that we will not put up with their stupidity, lies or bullying. I don't care what fantastical story they come up with, an out of date receipt is out of date. Shouting at me is not going to change that.
A lipstick that we don't make anymore will not mysteriously appear from up my arse if you are rude to me.
The product you obviously kept for over six months, judging by the colour and the build up of dust on the lid, will not become faulty no matter how hard you stamp your feet, I am not your mother.
We go to work to earn money and hopefully have a nice day doing so. If the way you treat us is any indication of your personality then shame on you, you deserve everything coming to you.
Retail therapy? In my experience it should be, get some therapy.
Sunday was a great example of that.
Enter probably the rudest woman on the face of the planet;
'Where is this lipstick?'
(Right between my eyes actually madam.) 'If I could just see which number it is....Ahh I am sorry, but we do not make that lipstick anymore...'
Tut. 'Which one is the nearest?'
'If I could just see the colour then I will try to match it up.'
'So you don't know what colour this is?'
'Well, it has been a while.....'
'No it hasn't.'
'I'm sorry?'
'I only bought this recently.'
'Err okay well, I am not familiar with that particular colour...'
'Here look.' (Madam waves the indistinct colour from 2009 summer collection at my face again.)
'If you could just put some on the back of my hand, I will get a brush...'
'No.'
'Err,'
'I'm not wasting it on your hand.'
'Errr, right well we will just have to do our best with the colour then..... how about this?'
'No.'
'This one?'
'No. None of them are like my colour.'
'Well it is from a different collection....they are very sheer....'
'For goodness sake why do they do that?'
'?'
'Stop making an entire type of lipstick, that's just stupid.'
(Aha, I have an answer for this.) ' It is to keep in line with trends in fashion, the designers are working about five years ahead so....'
'That was a rhetorical question, I don't want to hear your answer , you can go.'
If I had recorded that and made a documentary how different would peoples attitude to us be? Apparently since 'The Secret Shopper' aired earlier this month, complaints to our Hall of Plenty have risen by 70%.
Already we have received a cyber-complaint from a woman who couldn't understand her receipt was out of date and, as tax had gone up, she would have to pay the difference between any items she swapped. Twist and turn the debate as she might, she could not get past having to stump up the extra money which was grudgingly slapped down on the counter by her daughter - in - law. None of which was bad service,
because we agreed to change her item even though her receipt was out of date, we just had to charge her the difference. Why ? Because that is the policy in the Hall of Plenty. So she went and fired off an e-mail in response. I would love to scan it in and show you, but, you know anonymous and all that. The gist of it was , she had a hideous experience, was shocked and distressed and was only saved from the situation by her daughter- in - law.
No, we didn't try to murder her or hold her hostage but she was 'shocked and distressed'. It would take more than being charged two quid for a lipstick I hadn't bought in the first place to shock me, but there you go.
Now pin back your ears everybody!
It is not bad service that you are receiving if you don't get your own way, there are some things that are just fact. We cannot just give you discount because you think you deserve it; we would get fired for stealing. We cannot just change something that you don't like without a receipt; we would get disciplined for breaking store policy. We CANNOT just swap things for different colours, smells or textures just because they are the same brand without proof of purchase. WHY? Because, everything that is bought or sold has a unique code that belongs to the store that owns the stock, so WE WOULD GET IN TROUBLE with our store.
Crazy as it may seem stores have these security policies to stop the whole sale swapping, nicking or frauding of luxury items, so that genuine brand loyal customers can receive an item worthy of their money.
Customers really need to understand that we will not put up with their stupidity, lies or bullying. I don't care what fantastical story they come up with, an out of date receipt is out of date. Shouting at me is not going to change that.
A lipstick that we don't make anymore will not mysteriously appear from up my arse if you are rude to me.
The product you obviously kept for over six months, judging by the colour and the build up of dust on the lid, will not become faulty no matter how hard you stamp your feet, I am not your mother.
We go to work to earn money and hopefully have a nice day doing so. If the way you treat us is any indication of your personality then shame on you, you deserve everything coming to you.
Retail therapy? In my experience it should be, get some therapy.
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