If you cannot pass people in a crowded shop, without, huffing. Shoving past. Performing, the emotionally crippled two step (see previous posts) or grinding your teeth.
Then, you, are Socially Challenged.
If you cannot wait to be served for more than 30 seconds without tapping your fingers, shoving yourself in between a customer and a consultant who are already interacting at this point, or interrupting a sale by saying,
'Err excuse me, yes, yes! I just wanted to know...'
Then, you, are Socially Challenged.
If you cannot acknowledge a consultant who asks you, nicely, if you need anything or you stick your hand up in their face and snap NO!
Then apart from being Socially Challenged, you need a good punching.
If you are crippled by your ego and find it hard to get past consultants that are opening drawers without tutting loudly.
Then most assuredly, you are Socially Challenged.
So now you know what you need for Christmas.
A big bag of life skills and some emotional maturity. Happy Holidays!
Thursday 16 December 2010
Wednesday 15 December 2010
Ho! Ho! HO!
You know when customers talk too much they have something to hide. Certain sentences make your arse twitch like a flute players lip and you just know they are trouble.
'I'm not a shop lifter you know.'
'I didn't steal it, so why do I need a receipt?' Are two of my favourite light bulb statements. This week we heard a cracker to top those,
'You must remember me. Everyone remembers me.'
Well, my darling loud punter, we remember Princess Diana, but that is not proof of purchase is it!
Three weeks ago Miss Pankhurst got a '' Ohh I'm so wacky, I bet you have never had a customer as fun as me'' type customer. Wanted product , got product but wished to pay for it else where, yet still wanted Miss Pankhurst to wrap it. So she wraps it. The customer then went to the store restaurant, got drunk and forgot to pick up her stuff.
Three weeks later we get a ''You must remember me,'' phone call, where she kicks off about the fact that we forgot to put her products in her bag.
Well, we did remember her, but just for the record and for all of you Consultants out there, we gave her the run around of a lifetime, for a good twenty minutes.
Joy and festive cheer-a-roony!!
We couldn't find her stuff ! She had to fax over her receipt to prove she had bought it. We couldn't just defy security procedures could we? After her constant waffle, a lot of whingeing and more,
''But, but everyone remembers me, so why can't you send it?''
We finally, got Miss Pankhurst to phone her back so she could defend herself against the scurrilous rumour of inadequacy.
Slow torture for someone who really likes themselves and lies a lot. If only we had speaker phone. So after admitting she had lied to the first person who dealt with the query, she then fessed up to getting drunk and forgetting. By the time Miss Pankhurst relented and condescended to send it out free of charge, as a gesture of our goodwill, we like to think we had thoroughly shredded her ego. I doubt it , but we can dream.
Ho HO HO!!!!
Our big book has a black mark by that customers name.
'I'm not a shop lifter you know.'
'I didn't steal it, so why do I need a receipt?' Are two of my favourite light bulb statements. This week we heard a cracker to top those,
'You must remember me. Everyone remembers me.'
Well, my darling loud punter, we remember Princess Diana, but that is not proof of purchase is it!
Three weeks ago Miss Pankhurst got a '' Ohh I'm so wacky, I bet you have never had a customer as fun as me'' type customer. Wanted product , got product but wished to pay for it else where, yet still wanted Miss Pankhurst to wrap it. So she wraps it. The customer then went to the store restaurant, got drunk and forgot to pick up her stuff.
Three weeks later we get a ''You must remember me,'' phone call, where she kicks off about the fact that we forgot to put her products in her bag.
Well, we did remember her, but just for the record and for all of you Consultants out there, we gave her the run around of a lifetime, for a good twenty minutes.
Joy and festive cheer-a-roony!!
We couldn't find her stuff ! She had to fax over her receipt to prove she had bought it. We couldn't just defy security procedures could we? After her constant waffle, a lot of whingeing and more,
''But, but everyone remembers me, so why can't you send it?''
We finally, got Miss Pankhurst to phone her back so she could defend herself against the scurrilous rumour of inadequacy.
Slow torture for someone who really likes themselves and lies a lot. If only we had speaker phone. So after admitting she had lied to the first person who dealt with the query, she then fessed up to getting drunk and forgetting. By the time Miss Pankhurst relented and condescended to send it out free of charge, as a gesture of our goodwill, we like to think we had thoroughly shredded her ego. I doubt it , but we can dream.
Ho HO HO!!!!
Our big book has a black mark by that customers name.
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