I've known some awkward moments, a boyfriends mother once handed me a pair of knickers over a crowded Sunday lunch table, 'Oh, you left these,' she said in a smug effort to rid her son of me.
'Actually, those are not mine,' I answered and carried on passing veg to her guilt riddled son.
That was awkward (and a long time ago I hasten to add) but of late, I have noticed a crippling sense of awkwardness every time I need to get in a lift. Not amongst Cosmetics staff , for us even lifts are a place to create a drama, but the staff from other floors are the most angry looking, ignorant, awkward people one could ever wish not to meet.
If you have your hands full and ask them to push a button, they ignore you. If you are in the lift and try to get out, they just push past you to get in. And worst of all, if they are in the lift and you ask them to 'Hold the doors,' they simply watch you running toward it.
Yesterday however, I managed to reach the doors to a very full lift and in a fit of insanity, stuck my hands on either side of the very nearly shut doors. Doing a very good impression of Alien, I pushed the doors apart and marched into the centre of the lift staring at the opened mouthed fashion staff.
Four floors later, since I had not turned round and refused to look away from any of them, I left them cowering in the corners.
Awkward ? Yes. Could I back down without looking like a complete tosser ??? No. Did I enjoy it? Yes, I bloody well did and I got straight to the front of the cash office queue. Next week, I think I will push every button and fart loudly!
