It is not well known, but I am a great fan of Radio 2. So this afternoon, as I took some of the 'Tiny Hands' used books to a local charity shop, I inevitably tuned in and was appalled to listen to a whinge-y phone in. Some bird from the Daily Telegraph was banging on about bad service in shops and restaurants. And the floodgates opened with a load of 'Oooh , Oooh I once had bad service' stories.
It wasn't that I was shocked by the stories, let's face it who hasn't had to interrupt staff. It was just that nobody pointed out many of the reasons for bad service, are the attitude of the customers. When somebody with a Smacked-arse face comes and demands you dance like a monkey for them, you can bet they are not going to get a smile as they leave.
Honestly, not one of these ''callers'' took responsibility for their own actions. Now, with my great experience in the field, I can safely say that the Great British public are masters of self delusion.
For instance, red headed women who dye themselves tangerine thinking they look like they have a Hollywood glow. Deluded! ReadyBrek not Hollywood is the overall effect when even your eyebrows are orange.
Old men that wear jeans and dye their hair that weird purple-red in an effort to stay young. Deluded! We can see your roots and your jeans should be lower. Sockage and plugs is just nasty.
Thinking that we are not going to notice your prolific and lengthy nasal hair.
Absolutely Deluded! I have eyes like a shit house rat, I notice these things.
And their conclusions on this ground breaking subject? Apparently, we are just not that good at complaining!
Really? I mean, REALLY?
Given that I have managed to keep a blog going for almost 6 months on that very subject, I beg (Let it be known, I never actually beg.) to differ.
You can bet your sweet ass we can complain, and moan, and stand there gormlessly flailing a product at staff that are busy. And, poke people as they are applying mascara to a customer and, my particular favourite, come to the counter complain about something then not actually say what it is they are complaining about. For all I know it could be shoes, the weather, something blocking up your bowels or cheese. If you don't give me a clue, I can't help you.
And here's my point. (It's all right, not long now.) What we are not good at in this country, is constructive complaints where you state your issue including appropriate proof, we deal with it to the best of our ability.Or even tell you how and you do it.
No, what people actually want is a big bag of free goodies and a snivelling apology that completely out weighs the original problem.
Well it's not going to happen!
Oh, and for the people that come to our Hall of Plenty and say with a cheeky wink,
'What are you going to give me for free, if I buy this?'
NOTHING!!!!! You want it, I don't ! It won't be going off anytime soon and I wasn't forcing you to buy it.
So Britain, think twice. If you are receiving bad service, ask yourself this. Is that poorly paid, put upon staff member actually having an attitude with me? Or, am I just an impatient, bad mannered, spoilt brat that can't wait in line for more than two seconds without throwing a strop because I'm ever so terribly important?
Enough said.
Brilliant!
ReplyDeleteMy favorite is greeting a customer, being shooed away without being looked at, yet moments later an impatient clicking of the the fingers call me over like a dog! Maybe they'd think twice if next time i reply with a woof, bound over like an enthusiastic puppy and attempt to dry hump their leg!
Hilarious blog, can't wait for the next one!
Thank you so much Anon.Need to be careful there though, you don't want people coming back for the extra service!
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