Now, I don't know about you but I thought in 2010 we were grown up and sophisticated, savvy, astute humans who would avoid the arse-achingly obvious, stupid remark. But I was WRONG.
During a bout of extreme make up, one late April afternoon ( last week). Miss Marple approached a lovely woman at the fragrance bar. Assured that she could browse in peace, the woman explained she was waiting for her husband to arrive so she could buy her favourite fragrance. Miss Marple left her to browse away and we merrily carried on making up our ladies.
When the gentleman in question did arrive, he waved Miss Marple over and the following conversation was had,
Miss Marple, 'Ah hello sir, so what can we do for you?'
Sir, 'What can you do for me? What can you do with that.' He pointed, AT HIS WIFE!
Brushes clattered to the floor, women in all states of repair gasped and the poor lady blushed.
Never one to waste an opportunity, Miss Marple gave the situation some thought. This was highlighted by Miss White ducking behind the counter and removing the ribbon scissors from her reach.
Miss Marple replied, 'Well sir, there doesn't appear to be much we can do for that as she appears pretty perfect to me, but you on the other hand..... (women in their seats leaned forward) .... we can take you over there and bang your head repeatedly in a drawer until you don't say things like that again.'
Sir blushed. 'I'm sorry,'he mumbled to Miss Marple. She pointed to his wife.
(The woman on the other side of the make up table stood for a better look, despite having only one eyebrow penciled on.)
'I'm sorry,' he said to his hugely embarrassed wife.
Miss Marple, 'Right, so how much are you going to spend to make that up then?'
'Err I suppose I'd better get the big one.'
And he did.
Then next hour after they left, was one of unbridled feminism and our conclusion was, never in the history of the Hall of Plenty has any man, ever said anything as stupid as that. As Miss White astutely said, it was like covering yourself in honey and rushing naked in to a bears den.
