There are days when getting into work can seem like a jog through a a scene from Inception, folding cities included. Public transport, children so mesmerised by whatever is in the bathroom they freeze, toothbrush in hand, making you late. Lost books and keys..... always the keys. Four trips back to pick up things somebody forgot off the sofa. Life is not easy for the working parent.
Yet, when it goes well and you sweep into work on time, perky, full of jolly banter , there is always something to trip one up. Apart from decree's sent from above that is. I have to say, the little thunder bolts sent down from Mount Olympus have been so sporadic and irrelevant recently, we are mostly immune to them now.
I 'm rambling aren't I ?
Sorry.
And so today's offender of the faith? A woman who inserted the spray button of a fragrance bottle up her nostril, TWICE.
Anyone who reads this blog more than once will know about our mass hatred of bottle snorters. Why? Because it is dirty. Yes, dirty, nasty, ignorant people.
Oh, swine flu ! I'm so scared!
Not bloody scared enough on approaching a counter, full of lovely bottles of beautifully blended fragrance, to stop shoving them up your nose. When you leave a little bit of moisture and a blobby grey sticky bit, do you know what we do?
We chuck the whole thing in the bin.
Ahhwww, could you have taken that? That lovely half full tester that is now wasted in a skip somewhere? Could you? It is a waste isn't it? Somebody should just clean it down shouldn't they?
No, actually. My colleagues and I are not in the business of cleaning up human waste. So keep your secretions to yourselves and stop sticking bottles up your MRSA shaft. God, it is bad enough when women try lipstick on their fingers after they have dragged a bit of sweaty G- string from up their cracks.
Oh yes they do!
They don't notice themselves, but quite a lot of legging wearers give their minge attire a quick subconscious adjustment on a Saturday. Down go the bags, up comes the top, out of the butt-crack it comes and then,
'Oooh I love that colour'.
Jazz hands straight on the eye-shadows!
Nice thought eh?
Wednesday, 26 January 2011
Sunday, 23 January 2011
Contrary Mary.
Well, well, well. So there is a television series from Mary Portas focusing on bad service.
I know this is a normally lighthearted, sometimes scathing, blog from the Cosmetics Consultants point of view and that often I have pop at the customers expense, but I think there is a dilemma to be pondered here.
I have posted the link below that leads to an article reviewing the Secret Shopper episode one.
http://gu.com/p/2mgkn
I found it puzzling and not a little bit condescending, the review not the program. Surely, wherever we spend our money, we are entitled to some professional service and for two very good reasons.
Firstly because selling is a profession. You pay for your item and the sales person is paid for their time. I think a transaction that involves money defines the point, otherwise it would be charity and slave labour.
And secondly, high street business spends a fortune on training sales staff, so not providing good service is technically stealing from you boss.
Is Mary doing a good job then?
Yes and No, in my opinion, programmes such as this expose companies to fundamental problems with staff training. But where can you find an exposee' of customer behaviour? For those of us that take our job seriously, there is precious little back up when a customer defies all training and is just plain rude.
The backlash of know-it-all customers we received after 'Dom whats-his-face', bargained like a tourist at a Moroccan bazaar all over daytime television, was bad enough.
'What's your best price for this fragrance?'
'I'll tell you what the best price for that fragrance is mate, the one I just bloody told you!' That is really what goes through a consultants mind as they smile sympathetically. When they say, 'Well you have to ask,' what we really think is.'No you don't you cheap arse, it's not a fridge. Look how embarrassed your wife is!'
They do this because they cannot define between goods that you can bargain for, antiques, secondhand cars, etc; and goods you can't. LIPSTICK, FRAGRANCE, SKINCARE.
So what, I ask with a shudder that reaches to my nylon clad core, are we to expect from eager watchers of Mary Portas? Will they be telling us our job's? Probably. Will they be expecting discount if they have to wait for a consultant to finish with one customer before they are served? Absolutely!
Nobody has yet shown the kind of treatment, well trained, polite staff have to deal with from the everyday customer with issue's. And they do have issues. One only has to read this blog, full of anecdotal experiences, to see what those of us on the front line put up with everyday.
Yes, we have delightful customers! Interesting women and men that enrich our day with smiles and charm, whose transactions are flawless examples of good service. We have regular visitors, of sane mind and body, who never spit and don't freak us out. Good service very rarely gets acknowledgement and that is a huge problem.Where is the programme about that? Where are the letters complimenting us? If the public got into the habit of complimenting a good service, then perhaps abrasive customers would not affect us quite so much.
Maybe, Mary should focus on customer attitude in her series. Perhaps, we should secretly film bad customers. How would exposing the extreme behaviour of individual shoppers change peoples attitude toward staff in the retail and service industries? When a customer can write a letter or complain, when in actual fact they are the problem , how do staff defend themselves?
Nothing, on any of the training courses I have been on, could have taught me how to deal with the woman who screamed and shouted about not being able to get a refund for something that she had used up completely, then decided to return.
Lesson one to any customers reading this; we are not qualified mental health nurses.
I know this is a normally lighthearted, sometimes scathing, blog from the Cosmetics Consultants point of view and that often I have pop at the customers expense, but I think there is a dilemma to be pondered here.
I have posted the link below that leads to an article reviewing the Secret Shopper episode one.
http://gu.com/p/2mgkn
I found it puzzling and not a little bit condescending, the review not the program. Surely, wherever we spend our money, we are entitled to some professional service and for two very good reasons.
Firstly because selling is a profession. You pay for your item and the sales person is paid for their time. I think a transaction that involves money defines the point, otherwise it would be charity and slave labour.
And secondly, high street business spends a fortune on training sales staff, so not providing good service is technically stealing from you boss.
Is Mary doing a good job then?
Yes and No, in my opinion, programmes such as this expose companies to fundamental problems with staff training. But where can you find an exposee' of customer behaviour? For those of us that take our job seriously, there is precious little back up when a customer defies all training and is just plain rude.
The backlash of know-it-all customers we received after 'Dom whats-his-face', bargained like a tourist at a Moroccan bazaar all over daytime television, was bad enough.
'What's your best price for this fragrance?'
'I'll tell you what the best price for that fragrance is mate, the one I just bloody told you!' That is really what goes through a consultants mind as they smile sympathetically. When they say, 'Well you have to ask,' what we really think is.'No you don't you cheap arse, it's not a fridge. Look how embarrassed your wife is!'
They do this because they cannot define between goods that you can bargain for, antiques, secondhand cars, etc; and goods you can't. LIPSTICK, FRAGRANCE, SKINCARE.
So what, I ask with a shudder that reaches to my nylon clad core, are we to expect from eager watchers of Mary Portas? Will they be telling us our job's? Probably. Will they be expecting discount if they have to wait for a consultant to finish with one customer before they are served? Absolutely!
Nobody has yet shown the kind of treatment, well trained, polite staff have to deal with from the everyday customer with issue's. And they do have issues. One only has to read this blog, full of anecdotal experiences, to see what those of us on the front line put up with everyday.
Yes, we have delightful customers! Interesting women and men that enrich our day with smiles and charm, whose transactions are flawless examples of good service. We have regular visitors, of sane mind and body, who never spit and don't freak us out. Good service very rarely gets acknowledgement and that is a huge problem.Where is the programme about that? Where are the letters complimenting us? If the public got into the habit of complimenting a good service, then perhaps abrasive customers would not affect us quite so much.
Maybe, Mary should focus on customer attitude in her series. Perhaps, we should secretly film bad customers. How would exposing the extreme behaviour of individual shoppers change peoples attitude toward staff in the retail and service industries? When a customer can write a letter or complain, when in actual fact they are the problem , how do staff defend themselves?
Nothing, on any of the training courses I have been on, could have taught me how to deal with the woman who screamed and shouted about not being able to get a refund for something that she had used up completely, then decided to return.
Lesson one to any customers reading this; we are not qualified mental health nurses.
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