They say, 'the Lord give'th and the Lord take'th away' ( I don't actually know who, they, are...) but he certainly does in spades.
For instance yesterday; the Lord gave'th sunshine and I got my mountain of washing out and drying before the school run. But then he ripped all the light out of my day in a spectacular taketh-y away moment, in the shape of a dwarf with bad skin. I say dwarf, she was borderline but had a weird voice so despite her unofficial small person status she went straight into the 'Freaking me out' department on planet Mole.
I did my usual self conscious impression of a giraffe accepting sweets off a small child, ( splayed legs to make me shorter but trying to look casual and accepting) whilst she explained her predicament and explained and explained, then said
'The doctor gave me antibiotics but I couldn't swallow them....'
(No, because you have a squeaky toy lodged there, was my first thought .)
We discussed this and I found her a solution to her problem, as we concluded our transaction she also said,
'At this point I would do anything to make my skin better.'
'Obviously not or you would have taken the antibiotics.' I blurted out with a smile, then suddenly realised I had said it out loud. 'Or not..........'
That was my last word on the subject and as we awkwardly exchanged smiles and the bag of cosmetics, I was praying inside that the squeaky toy comment had stayed in my head.
If you have got this far without being offended by my casual anti-dwarfism, let it be known that I do hate myself for it and I know that small people are human and have rights. I do however , also suspect they live in Gingerbread Houses and keep fishing poles in their handbags!
