It's the Most Wonderful time of Year!

So a box arrives you could fit the entire counter in, it's full of Xmas stock and after about ten minutes it is full of Miss Marple and the Mole.
Yes, on lifting out gift boxes, ensure another member of staff has you by the feet or you will drop in and as the whole thing is made of cardboard, you can be utterly assured that court shoes are designed to go right through it.
In a few weeks time getting trapped in a massive cardboard box will seem like paradise!

The first customer of the day.

'Good morning, those are lovely aren't they, would you like to try one on?'
'No! Leave me alone.'

Long silence, in which one goes back to sharpening eye pencils.

'Err hello, am I going to have to wait here all day?'
'I'm sorry?'
'I've been looking at these lipsticks for ages and I want to buy this, get it.'
'What number is that please?'
'I don't know, that's your job.'

The lipstick is identified and taken to the till.

'Would you like to follow me to the till please?'
'Oh for gods sake! I'm in a hurry.'
'The till is just here madam.'
'Yes well, get a move on, I'm in  a hurry.'
'We won't keep you any longer than necessary madam.'

The lipstick is put through the till.

'Would you enter your pin number please madam?'
'All right, don't rush me!'

The item is bought.

'Would you like a bag with this?'
'Give it here! Oh, do you have any samples?'
'No, I am afraid not at the moment. Sorry, but you can have a spray of fragrance if you like.'
'What, no samples of anything?'
'No, sorry.'
'Right, so your telling me, I just paid twenty quid for that and you don't have any samples?'
No madam, I'm sorry, we haven't got anything in.'
None of those little travel sizes, no foundation?'
'Sorry no, we don't always get them and we do run out.'
'No, little mascara's for my hand bag?'
'I'm sorry, we haven't had those for ages.'
'Yeah, right. I bet you do.'
'We don't. I am terribly sorry, but you may have a top up of fragrance.'
'Yeah, like I am going to do that when it is free already.'
'Thank you madam.'

Madam strides over and squirts herself with fragrance.

The first customer of the day.

Tears and fears.

There have been a few tears this week, mostly hysterical tears of laughter amongst the troops. Waiting for a baby isn't only hard on the Mother you know, colleagues desperate to get the first look, whip themselves into quite a frenzy too. But this week, we have had no less than three emotional moments on the counter.
The first one we got by proxy, a lady on her way to a meeting had fallen over, up the steps to the store. Luckily, one of our crack team of store detectives, picked her up and brought her to us. We patched her up, but the shock was too much, in the face of our kindness, weeping ensued. You will be glad to know that we restored her dignity, mascara and confidence, sending her fragrant and beautiful back into the world like the little cosmetic angels we are.
Our second affair was strangely beautiful. Miss Pankhurst had shored up a bad tempered, soon to be bride, whose mother declared she no longer looked like a 'washed out dishcloth', leaving them both in tears. Personally, the beauty for me, was in the rebellion I saw in the daughters eyes. Whilst they bought everything, I don't believe the 'dishcloth' will be wearing it.
Finally, I was very disturbed when a lady trying on foundation, told me about an experience she had in another store. Apparently, she had nipped in to buy something for a friend. As she browsed, a tangerine dream , fluttering her falsie's popped up to inform her that,
'These aren't for you.'
Now, she was statuesque and by her own admission a little older than the brand was aimed at, but the humiliation showed itself in the tears that slid down her face. What is the world coming to when some snotty little teenager can humiliate a woman like that?
Surely, anyone can buy anything they want, whenever they want, especially when it's make up. Because after all, it's only bloody make up!
We swear by the god of cosmetics, that such a thing will never happen at our counter. Not while 'She Who Must be Obeyed' rules anyway