There are days and then there are those days, yesterday for example.
Angry shouty woman at 10.30 am, bought fragrance and body lotion on Thur. Brought it back on Fri, because she had 'a reaction'. Couldn't show us the dreadful rash, stuck down the packaging with sellotape, insisted she hadn't used it and shouted a lot about us accusing her of lying.
So how do you get a reaction from something you haven't used?
12.20 pm Miss Marple answered the phone to a customer. This lady wanted to know the difference between the bottles of a particular fragrance in Edt and Edp. Only half way through the conversation did she say, 'I'm blind'. Then, 'it's the peach fragrance' and then said, 'I haven't seen the Edt bottle yet.' Even more bizarre was, 'well I don't have it with me.'
Miss Marple was not amused at having to state the obvious.
Now, we have a lot of disabled customers and we relish the opportunity to push ourselves when describing the smell, texture, colour or effects of our products. So please forgive us for sniffing out a bank holiday fake.
2pm and the Hall of Plenty's first aider was called to administer to a couple who had fallen over breaking a finger, losing their teeth and displacing a wig under the Spray Tester Stand.
About 4pm 'She who must be obeyed' nearly died when she handed a customer's husband a tissue. Busy using one of our cotton buds to clean out his ears, he smartly handed them back once he'd finished.
Nice!
Rounded off by the customer who's child wee'd all over the floor because she was too busy buying fake eyelashes to take him to the toilet, I was not surprised to find myself waiting for 'He who pays the Mortgage and the tiny hands' to pick me , stood next to a former Doctor Who.
Just one day in the world of cosmetics!
Saturday, 3 April 2010
Wednesday, 31 March 2010
Sharing the Easter Love.
Easter is nearly here and the 'tiny hands ' are almost as excited as they were at Christmas. Half term has arrived, for the sake of my sanity and the safety of our hamster, I should have booked some holidays. Its hard to confess, but the sense of relief to drop them off at my parents and go into work was massive, it really does come to something when the Hall of Plenty is an ocean of tranquility compared to home.
And do you know, I'm not the only one, sometimes our counter has more in common with a therapist's. Having worked with some of my colleagues for a good while, we have noticed that there are times when a customer will confess their fears to us, share a story or confide in us when they probably wouldn't else where. There is a moment of trust when somebody strips you of your make up and reapplies what they feel you should wear. For us, that is a very precious thing.
Over the years I have had the privilege to meet some wonderful inspirational people, I say people, because they are not always women. Plenty of men purchase from us and they too share. Its easy in Cosmetics and Fragrance to only talk about the people who complain, return stuff or are just plain rude to us for no reason. But there is whole world of customers for whom we are a support system. A bit of good advice, a shoulder to cry on, we have even reviewed cv's and boosted confidence before big interviews.
So while I won't be painting eggs or making handmade chocolate lollies, that's what Mum has planned to wear them out, I won't be feeling guilty.
We may not be saving lives out there but at least we can share a bit of Easter love.
And do you know, I'm not the only one, sometimes our counter has more in common with a therapist's. Having worked with some of my colleagues for a good while, we have noticed that there are times when a customer will confess their fears to us, share a story or confide in us when they probably wouldn't else where. There is a moment of trust when somebody strips you of your make up and reapplies what they feel you should wear. For us, that is a very precious thing.
Over the years I have had the privilege to meet some wonderful inspirational people, I say people, because they are not always women. Plenty of men purchase from us and they too share. Its easy in Cosmetics and Fragrance to only talk about the people who complain, return stuff or are just plain rude to us for no reason. But there is whole world of customers for whom we are a support system. A bit of good advice, a shoulder to cry on, we have even reviewed cv's and boosted confidence before big interviews.
So while I won't be painting eggs or making handmade chocolate lollies, that's what Mum has planned to wear them out, I won't be feeling guilty.
We may not be saving lives out there but at least we can share a bit of Easter love.
Saturday, 27 March 2010
Spray Testing.
There is new meat in the Hall of Plenty.
The bright eager faces of the spray tester girls on the promotional stand, bring new life to the Spring Season, filling the hall with fragranced enthusiasm. Bless them, like lambs to the slaughter.
The shine had definitely worn off by tea time, in fact one of them had had a minor melt down and rushed off the shop floor in tears.
You have to be tough in this business and spray testing is the toughest gig of all. On display by a door in the freezing cold, or at the heart of a shop floor in front of expensive shiny surfaces, you can't be too pushy or too shy. It's a fine balance between offering someone a spray of fragrance to try and badgering the living daylights out of them.
Watching the 'New Meat' the girls and I were reminded of just how hard it is. You step forward, smile in place, bottle at the ready, opening statement on the tip of your tongue and you get the brush off. It could be the open handed, 'No!' Or the , 'I can't hear you' shuffle. That is when the customer hastily tries to get past slower shoppers without acknowledging you, forcing them to perform an erratic forward, stop, side step. Which is, more often than not, followed by shoving past some elderly woman in a fleecy.
It's not easy , so please spare them a smile even if you say 'No thanks.'
The bright eager faces of the spray tester girls on the promotional stand, bring new life to the Spring Season, filling the hall with fragranced enthusiasm. Bless them, like lambs to the slaughter.
The shine had definitely worn off by tea time, in fact one of them had had a minor melt down and rushed off the shop floor in tears.
You have to be tough in this business and spray testing is the toughest gig of all. On display by a door in the freezing cold, or at the heart of a shop floor in front of expensive shiny surfaces, you can't be too pushy or too shy. It's a fine balance between offering someone a spray of fragrance to try and badgering the living daylights out of them.
Watching the 'New Meat' the girls and I were reminded of just how hard it is. You step forward, smile in place, bottle at the ready, opening statement on the tip of your tongue and you get the brush off. It could be the open handed, 'No!' Or the , 'I can't hear you' shuffle. That is when the customer hastily tries to get past slower shoppers without acknowledging you, forcing them to perform an erratic forward, stop, side step. Which is, more often than not, followed by shoving past some elderly woman in a fleecy.
It's not easy , so please spare them a smile even if you say 'No thanks.'
Wednesday, 24 March 2010
Why?
My burning feet and your one ridiculous question,
'What colour do you think I am?'
What does that even mean? I can see what colour you are. So you mean, what colour do I think you should wear.
The funny thing is that if I say brown, you won't like brown . If I say pink, believe me, pink won't be the colour for you because you think pink looks cheap. Red then, 'no dear I don't do red, too tarty.'
So why do you ask?
Is it some sort of bizarre quiz, or test? Do you go home and tell the family that they wouldn't believe what some girl at the beauty counter said,
'I'm autumnal, me winter colours, ridiculous!' And then you and your colour co-ordinated family laugh in a superior, contrasted and slightly charming way.
It's just make up
'What colour do you think I am?'
What does that even mean? I can see what colour you are. So you mean, what colour do I think you should wear.
The funny thing is that if I say brown, you won't like brown . If I say pink, believe me, pink won't be the colour for you because you think pink looks cheap. Red then, 'no dear I don't do red, too tarty.'
So why do you ask?
Is it some sort of bizarre quiz, or test? Do you go home and tell the family that they wouldn't believe what some girl at the beauty counter said,
'I'm autumnal, me winter colours, ridiculous!' And then you and your colour co-ordinated family laugh in a superior, contrasted and slightly charming way.
It's just make up
Tuesday, 23 March 2010
Scandalous!
Scandal has rocked the Hall of Plenty. I wouldn't have thought it possible but we have not, seen and heard everything in the beauty business, not until today that is.
Our own counter's resident Miss Marple overheard the fuss but got the details over a sandwich and tea up in the canteen.
Security has always been strict, given the glories each floor can provide to them that have. It would seem that the Chaps have been hunting down a mystery thief who manages to pilfer no matter what, so imagine our surprise when one of the staff from another floor is caught red handed with stock. I say red handed......
Apparently and she swears it to be true, that the lady in question was caught with a bottle of fragrance, in her knickers.
Now I don't have much sympathy with the girl, but I would truly be mortified if I was ever searched, only to produce a bottle of scent from my Lady Garden.
'She who must be obeyed' needed more eyeliner and a lie down after that one. There is truly, 'nowt as queer as folk.'
Our own counter's resident Miss Marple overheard the fuss but got the details over a sandwich and tea up in the canteen.
Security has always been strict, given the glories each floor can provide to them that have. It would seem that the Chaps have been hunting down a mystery thief who manages to pilfer no matter what, so imagine our surprise when one of the staff from another floor is caught red handed with stock. I say red handed......
Apparently and she swears it to be true, that the lady in question was caught with a bottle of fragrance, in her knickers.
Now I don't have much sympathy with the girl, but I would truly be mortified if I was ever searched, only to produce a bottle of scent from my Lady Garden.
'She who must be obeyed' needed more eyeliner and a lie down after that one. There is truly, 'nowt as queer as folk.'
When vanity becomes insanity.
There has been little time to update the blog this week, in between the domestic drama's and Spring promotions at the Hall of Plenty, I was lucky to emerge from under the giant pile of washing generated by one very messy girl and two mud covered boys. (One of them pays the mortgage and should know better!)
Now, there are few things that can strike fear into the heart of a beauty consultant. The mention of Store Cards and the phrase, 'Stock Take' being two examples of things that definitely do leave us quaking in our court shoes, however usually we are pretty impervious to most things. (Those nylon outfits can repel almost any customer related overspill, fluid or otherwise.) Yet the customer that arrives fifteen minutes before closing at the end of a really busy day, wishing to try on lipstick's with no definite idea of what they are looking for, is every self - respecting tut' pushers nightmare.
When the well-veneered lady that arrived at the counter last night, first approached . I knew it was to good to be true. 'No!' she didn't need any help. Then she said,
'Well actually, could you tell me what lipsticks don't make your teeth look yellow.'
It's a little known fact that coral coloured lipsticks make discoloured teeth look yellow. Coral being a shade of orange and not, as one exasperated colleague told over six customers last week, pink. Okay, NOT PINK!
Anyway, as I sighed and any thoughts of getting out of work on time vanished, little did I know just how odd my evening would get.
She didn't agree, nor did she agree with the seven shades I tried on her. When I pointed out that absolutely nothing would make her teeth look yellow because,
'They are white veneers.'
She didn't agree with that either. Well, misses who ever you where, I think the giveaway was the luminous day glo white and the fact that you looked as if you mugged a racehorse on the way into the store. Thank you for making me late for my sons bedtime, thank you for making me sit in traffic going to some concert and thank you very much, for making me realise that sometimes vanity is only a couple of messed up letters away from insanity.
Now, there are few things that can strike fear into the heart of a beauty consultant. The mention of Store Cards and the phrase, 'Stock Take' being two examples of things that definitely do leave us quaking in our court shoes, however usually we are pretty impervious to most things. (Those nylon outfits can repel almost any customer related overspill, fluid or otherwise.) Yet the customer that arrives fifteen minutes before closing at the end of a really busy day, wishing to try on lipstick's with no definite idea of what they are looking for, is every self - respecting tut' pushers nightmare.
When the well-veneered lady that arrived at the counter last night, first approached . I knew it was to good to be true. 'No!' she didn't need any help. Then she said,
'Well actually, could you tell me what lipsticks don't make your teeth look yellow.'
It's a little known fact that coral coloured lipsticks make discoloured teeth look yellow. Coral being a shade of orange and not, as one exasperated colleague told over six customers last week, pink. Okay, NOT PINK!
Anyway, as I sighed and any thoughts of getting out of work on time vanished, little did I know just how odd my evening would get.
She didn't agree, nor did she agree with the seven shades I tried on her. When I pointed out that absolutely nothing would make her teeth look yellow because,
'They are white veneers.'
She didn't agree with that either. Well, misses who ever you where, I think the giveaway was the luminous day glo white and the fact that you looked as if you mugged a racehorse on the way into the store. Thank you for making me late for my sons bedtime, thank you for making me sit in traffic going to some concert and thank you very much, for making me realise that sometimes vanity is only a couple of messed up letters away from insanity.
Monday, 15 March 2010
Sniffing the Bottle
What a weekend!
'He who pays the mortgage' rallied the troops and this Mothers Day was exceptional. The tiny hands prepared a breakfast and it was lovely, although I think he may need some time to recover from the experience. I had a wonderful day.
Meanwhile, back at the 'Hall of Plenty', 'she who must be obeyed' has spotted some very disturbing trends.
First being the current fashion amongst customers for testing fragrances by shoving the bottle up their noses. Now, I don't know about you but I always thought the pieces of paper provided for the customer, neatly displayed before the bottles were for that, I could be wrong. I could even be wrong to point out that as a spray does just that, spray, surely people are just sniffing what is on somebody else's hands? And what about Swine Flu? M.R.S.A ? Other stuff that comes from up the general public and their many noses?
With 'she who must be obeyed' in a hygiene frenzy, we spent our Monday morning removing stray nose hair off the fragrance bottles.
Just after Operation Deep Clean, she was amazed to witness another event, leaving our glorious leader in need of tea and a bit of a sit down. Several people testing our newly clean bottles of fragrances by enthusiastically spraying themselves in the face.
Now, we are used to people grabbing the odd lipstick, that may or may not have been tested on the back of a hand that hasn't been washed and using it straight off the stand.
But for goodness sake people! Surely that blinding ability of a neat fragrance right in the eye is enough to warn anyone off.
Mind you I suppose it would always kill off the Swine Flu.
'He who pays the mortgage' rallied the troops and this Mothers Day was exceptional. The tiny hands prepared a breakfast and it was lovely, although I think he may need some time to recover from the experience. I had a wonderful day.
Meanwhile, back at the 'Hall of Plenty', 'she who must be obeyed' has spotted some very disturbing trends.
First being the current fashion amongst customers for testing fragrances by shoving the bottle up their noses. Now, I don't know about you but I always thought the pieces of paper provided for the customer, neatly displayed before the bottles were for that, I could be wrong. I could even be wrong to point out that as a spray does just that, spray, surely people are just sniffing what is on somebody else's hands? And what about Swine Flu? M.R.S.A ? Other stuff that comes from up the general public and their many noses?
With 'she who must be obeyed' in a hygiene frenzy, we spent our Monday morning removing stray nose hair off the fragrance bottles.
Just after Operation Deep Clean, she was amazed to witness another event, leaving our glorious leader in need of tea and a bit of a sit down. Several people testing our newly clean bottles of fragrances by enthusiastically spraying themselves in the face.
Now, we are used to people grabbing the odd lipstick, that may or may not have been tested on the back of a hand that hasn't been washed and using it straight off the stand.
But for goodness sake people! Surely that blinding ability of a neat fragrance right in the eye is enough to warn anyone off.
Mind you I suppose it would always kill off the Swine Flu.
Thursday, 11 March 2010
I have a Dream......
You know beneath the nylon uniform and the plastic badge is the beating heart of a woman. A wife, a mother but mostly a human being.
Most people don't really see me until they bring something back, then suddenly I am fiend. A nylon clad, receipt refusing,bully. Funny that because if it's faulty or within 28 days we'll change it , refund it, take it back, even make a flaming hat out of it!
Is it me or does the title of that zombie film twenty eight days later, specifically refer to that phenomena? It certainly caused some speculation this afternoon in between makeovers when the girls and I chewed over the problem.
So today I declare, I am a person. Yes, I sell cosmetics! Yes, I have the power to destroy your world by telling you that lipstick is discontinued and Yes! I, in the words of my daughter at school, sell coloured fat for ladies lips.
But I love my job.
Targets, pressure, products, prices! Who cares when a bride who has never worn make up cry's with joy. A recovering cancer patient gets her eyelashes back.A broken woman recovers her mojo to go out dating again, all with a little help from me.
This is my diary , my time to speak out.
Most people don't really see me until they bring something back, then suddenly I am fiend. A nylon clad, receipt refusing,bully. Funny that because if it's faulty or within 28 days we'll change it , refund it, take it back, even make a flaming hat out of it!
Is it me or does the title of that zombie film twenty eight days later, specifically refer to that phenomena? It certainly caused some speculation this afternoon in between makeovers when the girls and I chewed over the problem.
So today I declare, I am a person. Yes, I sell cosmetics! Yes, I have the power to destroy your world by telling you that lipstick is discontinued and Yes! I, in the words of my daughter at school, sell coloured fat for ladies lips.
But I love my job.
Targets, pressure, products, prices! Who cares when a bride who has never worn make up cry's with joy. A recovering cancer patient gets her eyelashes back.A broken woman recovers her mojo to go out dating again, all with a little help from me.
This is my diary , my time to speak out.
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