Friday 10 September 2010

Waxing Lyrical.

It's not often we are helpless with laughter, but if you had been there when Miss Marple was explaining why she couldn't reach the bottom drawers, you would have been too.
Life for a woman is an endless series of scrubbing, plucking, tweaking, reining it in, tanning and moisturising. When Miss Marple went to tidy 'the garden' recently, she thought,
'No. To hell with Salon prices, I'll do it myself.'
Picture then, our heroine in her immaculate new bathroom and it's wonderful tiled floor, wax strips at the ready. After the first toe curling epilation, she had to put on her i pod to drown the noise of hair tearing from flesh. Now with sweaty palms, she continued. But the hair, it pulls back you know !
With shaky, wet hands she struggled with the hedge, till an ear phone fell out. Sticking it back in, she got wax in her ear, then hair stuck to the wax, then her fingers attached to that.  Head hair drama over, Miss Marple started again. This time, she ripped out an in growing hair that started to bleed. She tried to blot it with cotton wool, that got stuck to her hand, causing her to drop the used wax strip in the other. She trod on it.
Poor Miss Marple, slipped from her perch on the edge of the bath. To be discovered on the bathroom floor, bare arsed, a heap of hair, wax, bloody cotton wool, with a wax strip stuck to her foot, by her boyfriend who heard the thump. To add insult to injury, the wax proved to be quite stubborn, sticking some toilet roll to her foot as she tried to escape.
Beauty is a dangerous business, especially to ones dignity.
Apparently, he didn't laugh as much as we did.


                

No comments:

Post a Comment